The Role of Parenting – Counselling, Psychotherapy or talk therapy makes lots of difference in an individual’s life. We all humans learn lots of things daily. From our childhood to adulthood till our death. Learning is a never-ending process and hence our minds are muscles. We can train our minds at any time. We can train and develop our minds as the time, situations and people demand.
But what if you are stuck in chaos? What if you are stuck in your rigidity? Then you become a stone. A person with a whole body and heart but not using logic. A person with body and mind but applies only emotions. Especially when you become a parent then you are facing more issues. You find yourself in a zone of anxiety, fear and worry. You see your kid growing up and you have ample things to teach him. Sometimes kids understand, perceive and apply it.
But sometimes they do not listen to you. They feel you being a parent binds them. You are authoritative rather you see your kid just as another human being. How does parenting counselling play a big role in your parent-child relationship? Let’s understand the process of parenting counselling.
STEP 1: IT STARTS WITH FINDING A PROBLEM
Parenting counselling is a systematic approach to dealing with your and your child’s emotions. Say, you notice your kid is so much in his gadgets. He used to see various information through social media, movies, YouTube videos etc. You also notice that there is no attention to his core study area. Of course, plays time with his friends. Now, you start telling him slowly about not following his screen time.
You start scolding and then you also feel that now you are losing your temperament. And you become aggressive and you find yourself shouting at your kids and then the whole environment is spoiled. After continues scold and apply other ways with him you feel like lost. You feel you are unable to make understand your kid and your kid is not ready to listen.
So, here parent counselling begins. Is it a problem of your temperament or is it a problem of overuse of gadgets? let’s decide. As you are reading you of course tell me the usage of gadgets is the problem. But if I am saying there is a problem with parenting style then? Neither temperament nor usage of gadgets is a problem. So, parenting counselling helps you to find the actual problem. If you find your problem correctly then it is easy to solve the problem.
STEP 2: FIND YOUR RIGIDITY AND CHAOS
Parenting counselling is also emphasised on your chaos and rigidity. Many parents are worried about the future of their kids. They feel anxious and irritated because they feel their kids are failing in the present situation. However, it is not the current situation. First of all, you need to be in the present state. Parenting counselling will help you to be in your current state first. Parenting counselling will help you to be in the flow state. Where you are not stuck in rigidity or chaos.
Your chattering mind never helps you to handle the situations differently. Here is only the phase where you learn about parenting skills. You can perceive your kid as your child and as a person too. If you want to be in a state of flow it is important to understand rigidity and chaos both. If you are stuck then you and your child both lose the state of flow.
STEP 3: STORYTELLING
I have experienced most of the parents lecturing their kids. They are giving them advice and kids are not ready to listen to them. They feel like their parents are unable to understand them and hence they stop expressing their feelings. But if you really want to communicate with your kids you really need to listen to them and empathise with them. Sometimes kids want to understand the difference between hard work and pleasure.
Sometimes kids won’t be ready to take challenges due to fear of failure and judgements. But true parenting is to ask not to tell. When you ask a person feels is important. They do not feel like you are authoritative or dominant but rather you are more empathetic. They are more motivated to let you know why they are doing what they are doing. Storytelling is one of the best parenting styles when your kid feels like he is heard. And you feel like your kid follows you.
Parenting counselling teaches you and work on your past, present and future thoughts, feelings and goals. Parenting counselling has changed your and your child’s perception of each other. Why are you angry and what he should follow to make his life better possible through parenting counselling?
STEP 4: WORK ON REALITY NOT SUPERFICIALITY
Parenting counselling is working on reality. I have heard many parents will show their worries for the future. But who has seen the future? Most of the time they think superficially and hence become judgemental about their kids. Before kids will do anything they start judging them and then lose their temperament. Parenting counselling helps in developing understanding.
Especially kids after their teenage want their own identity. They want silent permission and acknowledgement from parents. But parents are failed in this situation. They most of the time counter kids. They stop them in their fear and anxiety. A child never grows by his fall. He never falls so how he learns.
The current era is such that every parent wants their kids to be happy happy and successful. But life has many seasons. Sometimes hard, easy, fail and succeed. Parenting counselling helps parents and kids to develop more empathy towards each other. Also, it creates bonding of love, respect and commitment.
STEP 5: IMPLICIT AND EXPLICIT MEMORIES
Kids are stubborn because they have experienced something but are unable to express it. Because they are more impulsivity they behave. They are not thinking. They just become cranky and sudden reactions are very common. When they experience something and afterwards they become rigid it is only parents who can deal with them.
They need to talk to them about certain memories. May they imprint as bad but make them good is parenting style. Such skills are important nowadays because of the information era. This era is about sharing expressing and experiencing.
If you are a parent you do not know how to deal with implicit memory your kid may suffer from negativity bias for whole his life. Parenting counselling helps you deal with and grow your understanding of your kids.
Parenting Counselling helps lots of parents to build a tight relationship with their kids. For more information, you may contact us.
