Relationships or Marriage Life is extremely rough as well as a soft patch of anyone’s life. Both the husband-wife pass through many phases the proposal stage, the acceptance stage in each other lives, the acceptance stage by family and society, marriage and then parenting. Here, the relationship never ends but goes on with many aspirations, responsibilities, growth and many more.
Every relationship once passes through a rough phase. It may be in the initial period of the relationship or a later period. But infidelity being unfaithful, having external marital affairs or breaking the trust of the partner is the most crucial stage in any relationship.
A partner who feels like being cheated has always been overwhelmed, traumatic and many times in doubtful situations which creates more fractions in marriage life. Both of them feel each other from a distance. All of a sudden they feel like zone out. Reactions to such feelings are anger, distrust, ugly fights, hot discussions etc.
So, does a partner accept the unfaithfulness or distrust of another partner? This isn’t easy and it varies from person to person. But the unfaithfulness of a partner does not mean the end of the relationship. You may take this as a chance to understand each other more with the promises and forgiveness. As you are reading to gain the Trust of your partner back you are reading this important information. And I am sharing my important insights that will help you to overcome distress from relationships.
What is Infidelity?
Infidelity means a person becomes unfaithful in a relationship and cheats on his partner. It is also called external marital affairs. In simple terminology, it is something to become distrustful and have an intimate relationship with another person without consent or knowledge of another partner.
Why does infidelity happen in a relationship?
In many counselling sessions of relationships, this is one of the core issues that comes up in having trust in a partner. Why distrust happened. When each couple know the consequences of infidelity or distrust why do they enter into such relationships? It seems like playing with fire. But there are various reasons WHY MARRIED COUPLE CHEAT.
Infidelity happens due to frustration, lack of self-esteem, lack of love in a relationship, anger, situations, denial by partner, lack of understanding, low commitment, lack of communication and looking for variety. These are all reasons found in the person who cheated on the betrayed partner.
Frustration plays a major role in relationships. When the other partner does not understand the emotional and physical needs of the other one then it converts into frustration. More than 40% of marital issues happen because of a lack of communication and understanding. Both partners have their own beliefs about each other due to their experiences with each other.
And to overcome the feeling of insecurity the other partner falls into such unfaithful relationship. Generally, males have more external affairs than females. Because the love language of the males is physical intimacy while females look for words of appreciation and emotional support. Due to this difference and lack of understanding such situations happen where a partner falls into unfaithful activities.
In distrust between relationships, some of the childhood trauma, betrayal and non-acceptance also play a major role. But infidelity breaks a relationship which requires lots of effort in the healing and acceptance process.
Major Reasons WHY MARRIED COUPLES CHEAT
- LACK OF COMMUNICATION
- DENIAL FOR PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL BONDING
- LACK OF UNDERSTANDING
- CAREER AND FINANCIAL SITUATIONS
- LACK OF TIME
- MORE ATTENTIVE TOWARDS OTHER RESPONSIBILITIES.
- ACCEPTANCE AND EXPECTATIONS.
How do you gain your trust back in your partner?
It is really hard to get back the trust which was there before infidelity. Because a cheated partner has to face many consequences from a betrayed partner. Anger, frustration, no communication, separation, trust issues, proving honesty all the time and many more. But it is not that difficult to gain trust back. Of course, you need to face the consequences of the actions you did. But to gain faith once again follow important steps which strengthen your relationship.
Talk to your partner and be honest
There is always a reason behind each action. And so there is always a reason behind the infidelity. After such emotional incidents talk to your partner about why it has happened without blaming him\her. Rather be honest with your partner. Of course, you fumble when you want to speak the truth. Your heart shakes as you acknowledge your mistake.
To save your relationship and to be an honest person talk to your partner with the truth. When you become honest you first become honest with yourself and then with others. Do not forget this important information. When you are talking you may face the anger of your partner. But become calm rather than arguing with your partner to prove yourself right.
If you feel you made a mistake sincerely apologize and try to heal your partner. Because your betrayed partner feels trauma and distress from broken relationships and self-doubt. In case where betrayed partner is unable to understand or is always in denial mode, you may take the help of a counsellor. Contact us to resolve conflicts in relationships.
Self-Realization and Apology
If you do not feel like apologising then do not do it. Only words never matter but words with the mixture of feelings matter most. Making mistakes is ok but non-realisation of it is a big mistake. After infidelity, many partners apologise multiple times but the other partner never forgives or accepts the apology. The betrayed partner feels more frustration and anger.
But when you realize from the bottom of your heart and apologies you do not require to say “Sorry” again. Because both of you understand the ingenuity of words spoken. To gain trust after infidelity it is important to feel by the cheated partner to keep yourself in someone’s shoes and see things.
Do Which Gains Security
Partners who cheat on another one need to do some actions and communications to gain trust again. If a partner continues to be irresponsible or makes another feel doubtful, it worsens the situation. Do certain actions fairly express where you are and what you are doing? Do not feel like you are reporting. But It is something you are involving your partner and again build strong bonding.
It is important to understand that a betrayed partner’s feelings because the other person feels insecure. So much overthinking causes issues in day-to-day activity. Another may feel like ending the relationship or feel like what if this relationship may not work? All these are the most traumatic situations for a betrayed partner. It is the responsibility of a partner to behave in a certain way so it will gain the trust and security of a betrayed partner.
Forgiveness is a Big Thing
This point and the last point apply to a betrayed partner. Mistakes only can teach a person a lot. And if a person has realised his mistake it is a duty to forgive another partner. Because feelings of hatred, revenge or any other negative feelings hit up yourself first then the other person.
You burn yourself then throw anger in outbursts. So learn to be a forgiver. Give a chance to your partner once again. And try to make another person feel comfortable. Not playing blame games or no sarcastic all the time will give your relationship good bonding.
Do not be Sarcastic
Mostly it happens that a betrayed partner speaks out to other people or family and friends. Many of them suggest being separated or taking revenge so another may realise. As in any emotional situation, our Emotional Mind works very hard on us. Many of the wrong decisions prove to be wrong when you are emotional. But here you can use your wise mind.
Ask yourself before being sarcastic does it improve your relationship? Does it help to gain back your trust? If your answer is NO then stop for a while and give a reply later. For hurt feelings and an anxious state, you may consult a professional who helps you to overcome your current state of mind.
Does counselling help to overcome the trauma of infidelity?
Yes, the important part is here. Does counselling help to overcome the trauma of infidelity? Of course, it is. A trained therapist really helps in solving problems. First, a therapist gives a chance to speak to a cheated partner to understand the real problem.
It is difficult for both partners to deal with this situation. But once all emotions are shared clearly and properly then the solution can be possible. This experience is more difficult for both partners to handle. But with the help of a therapist, you may definitely solve and again start fresh back.
There are various case studies which prove that even after infidelity both have strong bonds. As one is giving always a chance and another one is taking it seriously to build a good relationship. It is difficult anytime to handle emotions but do not forget there is always room for improvement.
