Do you know how forgiveness affects your mental health? What will happen to you when you forgive someone rather than keep resentment for what has happened to you? Do you know forgiveness reduces your cortisol and stress levels as you learn to be calmer and happier? Today, I want to draw your attention to where you learn more forgiveness.
The benefits of Forgiveness are more fruitful than resentment and anger. Especially, when you deal with the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) forgiveness is difficult as you relive a traumatic situation in your mind. CBT helps you understand your beliefs, understandings, and behaviours to easily deal with your stressors.
Therapy helps to build resilience and flexibility with the situations which have occurred. In DBT also one can learn about forgiveness and move on with life. Therapies are so helpful in dealing with depression, PTSD and various other clinical issues.
Escape From Past:
TRAUMA BECOMES STRESS WHEN YOU RELIVE IT IN YOUR MIND AGAIN AGAIN.”
“AS MUCH AS YOU THINK SOMETHING BAD HAPPENED TO YOU, YOU HURT MORE THAN IT HAS HURT.”
Both the above quotes give you more clarity. When something happened to you that time you aren’t that much affected. But you were affected much after reliving them in your mind again.
Cognitive Psychology suggests how you perceive information is based on your analyses and then you interpret. In short, you are interpreting your situation then you identify it with yourself and then repeat it. This process is called repetition of the same information again and again.
It gives you more pain and feelings of resentment which increase your stress. To deal with the past trauma or to help yourself with the Post Traumatic Stress Disorder you need to accept what it was as it is. To do the same you can learn small exercises as mentioned below:
Step 1: Take a Traumatic Situation – Give a name to that situation (Divorce)
Step 2: Interpret the situation in detail (Write all the wrong things that happened to you)
Step 3: Now Interpret the same situation with the other person’s perspective (Write their points and ask will you do the same as the other person did?)
Step 4: How does this situation help me if I keep on reliving it in my mind?
Step 5: Is it helping me to become a happier person or does it give more stress?
Step 6: What would you do to overcome your stress?
Step 7: Try to forgive by accepting the other person has his limitations as well.
Step 8: Repeat forgiveness.
The rule is (Interpret + Understand + Take New Perspective + Accept + Repeat Forgivness)
The above method helps you to deal with your emotions. Especially you are vulnerable and you feel depressed because you live your trauma in your mind. CBT, EDMR and DBT therapies help so much to deal with what you feel and why. You learn new things about yourself and rather than hitting yourself you become easy with yourself.
Why Me?
Stop victimisation. You are not alone in this world who faced trauma. So stop asking yourself “WHY ME?” Any traumatic situation always brings some opportunity to learn about oneself. You can find something where you learn about yourself. You may find new skills within you, You may also learn about your nature, weaknesses and qualities.
Do not forget that humans had invented today’s lives from lots of struggles and mediocrities. “SUFFERINGS ARE THE MOTHER OF ALL INVENTIONS.” If you are continuously asking yourself,”why it has happened with me?, my luck is so bad, I am not worthy enough that I can stand by” etc…etc…
These all are in a way self -subotaging conversations which makes your negative beliefs more strong about yourself and others. Your beliefs are a core area where you learn and understand about this world. And once you hold some strong belief it is hard to eliminate or change as it becomes your character.
Forgiveness gives you freedom from victimisation and you learn new things and overcome your setbacks.
Increase Your Self-Esteem
Earlier in my blogs, I wrote much about Self-Esteem. The confidence you have in yourself is called Self-Esteem. What you learn and understand about yourself develops Self-esteem. If you know how to forgive another person means your self-esteem is strong.
Because you know whatever may be the situation you will come out from that. You also improve your weaker skills and keep aside your Ego which brings you back. You come out of the Lazy and self-stopping excusing attitude to take ownership of yourself.
Your stress will not run you. But your feelings are in your control. You learn much about yourself. And for you happiness is bigger goal then any other things.
Less chances of Mental Disturbances
If you learn to forgive by selecting peace over resentment then you are likely to catch fewer mental disturbances. Like stress, anxiety, depression, anger, rage, overthinking etc. Mostly when you victimised or when you want to take revenge all your thoughts, feelings and behaviours directed to one direction. First, you swallow the hot coal and then you throw it on someone.
You are continuously thinking about other person and situations which was traumatic. As much as you think about what has happened to you, you develop more overthinking issues. Sometimes you doubt yourself, and other times you have anger than you feel to give answers to another person.
These continuous mental images bring lots of stress and eventually anger issues or depression as your behaviours are restrictive. But once you know how to forgive you can easily come out of mental disturbances.
Develop Good Habits
You might heard about Maslow’s theory. The top of the chart is important for any human being and always comes later part of life. When you forgive someone by understanding his limitations then you become satisfied with yourself. When you are satisfied with your life it brings more self-realisation. Slowly you bring self-satisfaction to self-actualisation.
Spirituality comes from psychology. What learnt and believed till this time is unless you do not know what is your nature at that time meditation is just a process. One has to be mindful and conscious about self. If you learn to know the process of forgiveness it helps you to become the person you want to be. If forgiveness has so many benefits why not put it into practical use? Therapies are more effective as you learn more tools to deal with your anxiety and stress.
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