What is stress?
Stress the word itself causes a lot of stress. Stress is a mental state where a person is continuously worried about something. Tension and a problematic state of mind make a person vulnerable to emotions. Fear and anxiety are also a part of stress. But stress needs to be understood in a simplistic term. A problematic state of mind occurs when things are not going as expected.
Psychologically a person does not feel good about the situation or self. It expects outcomes which may not be in favor of a person and that emotional state gives fearful and negative thoughts.
However, there are two types of stress. Positive stress and Negative stress.
Positive Stress:
It gives little pressure to achieve some desired goal. It is positive and motivational. It inspires to do some creative work and achieve higher goals in life. It also helps a person to enhance skills to perform better. Positive stressors create a healthy environment at the workplace. Where healthy competition helps employees to grow in performance.
It also develops healthy Interpersonal and intrapersonal relationships. I may call positive stressors an emotional trainer as well. As it stretches a person’s ability to think in a better direction. This creates a collective workforce which eventually converts into a productive environment. However, there is a thin line between positive and negative stress. Let’s also understand negative stress.
Negative Stress:
This stress generally gives a negative thought process. A person is attached to fearful outcomes and gradually becomes anxious about self and others. Negative stress mostly creates more mental and emotional hassle. Which causes unclear thinking and affects directly to performance of a person. Negative stressors can’t be handled by everyone. Hence more than ninety per cent of people fall into emotional problems and face severe mental issues.
Causes of stress:
Before we proceed further how to overcome stress. Or learn about stress management. It is important to understand what causes stress. What are the stressors in a normal human being’s life? Which makes a person vulnerable to his emotions. There are various factors which cause stress. But here I am highlighting the most important points which cause stress.
It is well said in one of the books called “The Lost Connections” that psychological- physical and social factors cause lots of emotional and mental problems. Stressors are also part of those three important parameters.
Work:
As per Maslow’s Theory of needs self-fulfillment and recognition of an Individual’s work play a major role in all individuals’ lives. In our modern and well-equipped society work is most important. Whether to gain financially or to gain recognition. But when any person does not work as per his skill, is not able to fit in the jobs, not doing the desired work and work merely due to finances, unemployment, social responsibilities to work etc creates lots of stress in one’s life.
Relationships:
We all are surrounded by relationships. We have relationships as parent-child, spouses, friends and families everyone. But these relationships become sometimes traumatic as one needs to prove self continuously. There are multiple incidences where a person struggles to prove self. To crave recognition from others. To save relationships one also goes to extra mile. Which in a way gives lots of stress.
Finances:
Nowadays definition of success is what have you earned? How much bank balance do you carry or what lifestyle are you following? Some so many people follow poor lifestyles. They are poor because of unemployment, not getting opportunities, having big family sizes and more responsibilities. Finances are a bigger stressor which can be felt by many young people as well.
Physical Health:
Corona just hit the whole world a few years back. And we all know how much health is important for every one of us. But day by day poor lifestyles and junk food cause a lot of health-related issues. Various diseases affect human bodies and hit immune power so badly. We are not supposed to forget that HEALTH IS WEALTH.
Environment:
Environment plays a big role in psychology. Because an environment nourishes one’s thoughts. Simultaneously it deteriorates one as well if it is not secure and safe.
Big Changes:
Marriage, parenting, shifting to new places and jobs, divorce, death of loved ones, financial losses, and business transitions are major factors as well as those that play a big role in one’s thoughts and performance.
Unrealistic Expectations:
Out of so many stressors, this one is created out of perfection. It is something to crave for self-perfection, perfection demanded by society and imposing perfection on others. All these three major bifurcations are of perfection. Perfection in any format creates stress to become the best, to be admired and appreciated by others. This is an unmet desire of a modern human which ultimately causes stress.
How does stress affect your life?
Mental and Emotional Well Being Your Emotional quotient plays a bigger role nowadays than intelligence. When you are facing stress it directly increases the cortisol level which spurs fast in the body. However, before brain chemicals work a person takes less information from the outside world. As it is half-blind due to excessive thought processes i.e. overthinking. One is attached to an outcome which creates lesser resilience power and eventually affects one’s behaviours.
Physical Health:
Selling of junk food itself is a great example of stress. Under pressure personalities either overeat or undereat. They are far from nutrition based food. But they are more prone to tasty, oily and junk food which soothes their taste sense. Which eventually helps in pacifying their stress. Many people just eat more because they want to distract from the stress. Same as not eating but unhealthy lifestyles followed by that. Oversleeping or under sleeping, not regularly exercising or routine of Yog. All leads to poor health structure.
Work Performance and Productivity:
Overly stressed people never judge what they want to do. But they always do what others want them to do, To please people, to get the attention of others, to get recognition and place within the desired circle they never see their skills. They work just for the sake of some work. They never enjoy the workplace but they are there. Because of so many other reasons.
When a person is stressed it directly affects his productivity as the person wants to change the outcome as per his desire. Productivity hampers because they procrastinate or loathe the self in negative thought processes. Self-loathing is so common nowadays which directly affects productivity.
Current Relationships:
Stress is a state of mind where a person is so much worried and tense. As I observed many people during counselling they want to be the best and perfect many times. And due to that they start imposing their perfections on others. They overstress about what others are thinking and talking about them. Rejection is not an option for them and hence their relations are always at stake.
Financial Life:
As mentioned earlier one of the reasons for stress is finance. But stress itself also causes financial losses. Because one hampers productivity, comes into comfort and taking things easy creates hassle in life. Which directly or indirectly affects productivity and work. As it is one of the stressors, stress also affects finances.
Tell me how to manage my stress.
STRESS MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES
List out STRESSORS:
Self-awareness is a key factor in dealing with any mental and emotional problems. There are a few important lists of questions that help you to find out what stresses you. When you do not know what is your stress area then nothing works better. We must know what drives us.
What stresses you?
You may select any one or multiple. Based on the primary stressors. Just do not be overthinker by selecting each parameter. Be realistic and select which is a real stressor.
Relationship | Finance | Physical Health |
Work | Family | Spirituality |
How do these stressors affect your?
Self-Confidence | 0% | 25% | 50% | 75% | 100% |
Self- Esteem | 0% | 25% | 50% | 75% | 100% |
Perfection Level | 0% | 25% | 50% | 75% | 100% |
Productivity | 0% | 25% | 50% | 75% | 100% |
Laziness | 0% | 25% | 50% | 75% | 100% |
Overthinking | 0% | 25% | 50% | 75% | 100% |
Write down the reasons why these are your stressors. Once you write down the real reasons for these stressors you will be able to find out clarity to deal with them. Actions you need to do. The resilience you need to build up. Working on the stressors only on a piece of paper helps you to navigate your thinking in the right direction.
Visualize your Stressor:
Once you know what is the most stressful area of your life. Now visualise what kind of a person you are if this stress can be solved. What actions will you take to release this stress? Just imagine the actions you take to resolve your stress area and then start focusing on the work which you are doing. Try to visualise that you do certain actions and communications which resolve your stress. And write it down how do you feel after that?
Pranayam Techniques:
There are various breathing exercises which will immediately calm your mind and agitated body. If you are stressed and for a while sitting in a Padmasana posture and start Anulom-vilom or deep breathing you can immediately take control of your thoughts. As you become mindful and come back to your present state.
Exercise and Yogic Postures:
Your healthy lifestyle brings you so much to you. If you wake up in the Brahmmuhurt and start exercises in the morning. It will drop down your Cortisol level. Also, as you wake up before sunrise you are living in the most quiet time of your day. Where you visualise and make plans to deal with your stresses and the rest of the day, Do Not forget that a well-written to-do list is a key archive and resolves all worries.
Well planned your Day:
If you do not drive yourself someone drives you. Your stressors are your influencers. You mostly think of them and then you start self-blame. Or you blame others for your stressors. But when you well planned your day it gives you more energy to complete your tasks at hand. Also, at the end of the day, you manage your work and life without distracting other media sources.
Power Nap:
With the modern lifestyle, this ancient lifestyle has been outdated. But if you take a power nap for at least 10 to 30 minutes in the afternoon after lunch you rejuvenate for the rest of the day. Sometimes excessive stretched day also creates lots of stress and worries as you forget to stop in the middle of the day.
Analyze your Day:
You are stressed because you end your day without introspection. One important question you need to ask is if you do not want stress in your life. What did I do? Did I do those actions and communications which make me the person I want to be? Was my day productive?
Once you analyze your day at the end of the day you not only tick mark your finished to-do list but you get a sense of relief for your productivity. Remember we are stressed because most of our work is unfinished or prolonged to the next day.
Connect with real People:
After we hit up so much with social media we lost our connections. Especially physical connection. A well spend time with like minded people increases positivity. Connect with those who are like-minded and have communication with them in person.
Food:
Whatever we are is what we eat. Too sugary, spicy, hot and chilli food upset your stomach which eventually your thought process. If you eat unhealthy you invite much in advance then it will happen. It is important that you cut down on your food which gives a sense of satisfaction. But focus on simple and mild food.
DOES THERAPY HELP IN MANAGING STRESS?
Counseling and therapy sessions are most powerfully worked in managing stressful situations of life. As I have mentioned few important stressors here due to limited space. But there are so many other stressors which can’t be dealt with without external support. Guidance, counselling and therapy help a lot to understand what stresses you.
But most important it works from the root cause. Therapy helps in stress management because you learn lots of coping skills which help you to be mindful. Once you understand your real thoughts and your actions in therapy you will never be prone to stress once again. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy and many other therapies proved best in dealing with stressful situations.
Stress is just not a state of worrisome mind but it is a state of losing present. As in stress, a person tends to live in the future more.